You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You pole danced in your parka.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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