One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
