Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
