Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
