let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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