just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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