Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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