If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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