i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
either way he was missing a nipple.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
