I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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