Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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