It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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