I look better un-naked...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
