My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
