if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
