with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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