It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
