i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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