oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
