Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
