Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Welp...herpes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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