Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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