one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
