you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
