its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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