can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
bring money and cleavage
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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