does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize