nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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