i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
someone owes me an orgasm
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
