Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
