Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
