I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
