I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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