If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
