remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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