so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
