You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
