you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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