so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
