Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you mean i was at the winter classic?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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