I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
