Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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