when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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