I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
