I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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