Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm jealous of your bromance
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
