Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
