i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh god it's open bar.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
