So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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