I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
