its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
