Sponge bath it is.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
