the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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