That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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