her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
