I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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